How to Feel Better and Live Longer- Eight Keys That You Can Use Today
By Brian Norris

First,  the most important thing you can do is to engage in positive thoughts and positive actions. This may be difficult when clients, bosses, competitors and spouses are testing your nerves.  Still, positive thoughts generate positive outcomes and negative thoughts attract negative outcomes.

Unless you and I actively envision a world where good things happen regularly and people aren't out to stab us in the back, we can't realistically expect anything to the contrary.

The belief precedes the action. When we act with a spirit of humility and expectation the universe provides the catalysts needed to reach our defined goals.

One of the most important actions we can take daily is to refrain from judging others. Jesus taught that before we highlight the speck of sawdust in someone else's eye, we should be cognizant of the plank of wood sticking out of our own eye.

Unless we know a person's thoughts and history and condition intimately, we should not sentence others or assume they are guilty.

Just as detrimental to living positively is to engage in gossip. Hearsay destroys lives. If you need to know, engage the person directly. But before you do that, ask yourself “Why do you need to know? How does another person's situation affect your world? Are you being inquisitive or are you just being rude and nosey?".

Second, actively filter out the negative stuff you're exposed to in the media and on the Web. Crime and drugs happen. Stock values go up and down. People die suddenly and unexpectedly. But more good is happening at any one time than bad.

Unfortunately, the media often profits from bad news. Why? The same force that compels us to slow down to look at a crash on a busy highway compels us to sit in front of the TV and watch the same images over and over again. That's why it makes sense to turn off the tube and plug into positivity more often.

Even the Internet pulses with negative news, negative ideas and unhealthy recommendations. We don't have to visit any website or do business with any online provider; that choice is completely our own. While people are inherently good, some people use the intimacy of the web and email to shower their animosity and low level thinking on others.

We don't have to keep someone on our Instant Messenger List or as a MySpace or Facebook or Twitter list if all they do is moan, complain, and rain down negativity on anyone who comes close to them.

Stop reading tabloids or listening to podcasts that churn out gossip or focus only on what is wrong with the world. We have little control over when and if the world ends, so it pays to focus on other things.

Instead of wasting time reading about the latest Hollywood scandal, pay attention to your loved ones and validate them with affection and your time daily. Use the free time to enjoy your own company, to meditate, to help others, to take up a new hobby, read or write a book, or even start a new business.

Fourth, monitor your self-talk. Refrain from phrases that are packed with negative energy. All of those “I can't do this,” “This sucks,” “I always mess up,” “I'll never be happy,” “I'm too… (fat, skinny, inexperienced, young, old, etc.)” comments take their toll on your psyche. They also repel people and lead to unnecessary loneliness.

Resorting to language that puts you down and ridicules others is unhealthy and is a big reason why otherwise qualified people find themselves unemployed.

Instead, focus on words and phrases in the language that lift the human spirit. These include words like: "Love" "Thank you" "I appreciate you" "I forgive you." "Let's make it better" "Today's the beginning a great week." 

If you have nothing nice to say about someone, redirect your energies elsewhere. At the minimum, bite your tongue and keep your cancerous comments to yourself.

Fifth, recognize diversity as strength. Learn to respect people who may not look like or think the same as you. Your beliefs are your belief. They need not be the same sets of values or priorities held or practiced by others. As every individual is unique, so too is the way they process their daily experiences.

As a diverse people we are entitled to our own rituals, politics, faith, kinks and preferred communication styles. If you are passionate about a way of life then model it daily. Demonstrate through your words and actions that your values provide an anchor for you that help you through good and bad times alike. That is the best way to evangelize.

Sixth, love yourself. You are beautiful just the way you are. You don't need plastic surgery, implants or reductions. Always remember that the body is just a shell for the soul; Ugly is only skin deep but beauty is to the soul.

You don't need to starve yourself or take pills or wear certain types of clothes or makeup or drive a certain kind of car. We are defined by our uniqueness. Celebrate who you are; a human being with the ability to act, think and live as you want.

Massage is a safe and effective way to help you to become comfortable with your own skin. An experienced practitioner will not judge your body. They will use their skills to help you to see that touch is healing and therapeutic. Not only does massage extend your life by managing your blood pressure, it helps you to reconnect to your humanity and fulfills a genetic need for communion with others. We are not meant to alone!

Part of loving yourself is nurturing your self-esteem. Do you respect yourself? Are you comfortable in your own body, alone with your own thoughts?

The fastest way to measure one's self-esteem is to observe their interactions with others. If they lash out physically or verbally at others – be it strangers, coworkers or family – they probably have low self-esteem.

People who dislike themselves feel exulted by putting others down. They are constantly angry with themselves or with the cards that life has dealt them. Consequently, they put others down under a veil of righteousness in an attempt to validate their worldview.

If someone puts you down, mitigate their efforts by killing them with extreme kindness. Nothing thwarts angry, insecure, negative people better than a smile and a kind word. People who don't like themselves are going to be repulsed by people who do. People who get rejected are going to make up silly rants in an attempt to get under your skin.

Don't let them get to you. Generally, their attacks or insults come back to haunt them. They have their reward and by turning the other cheek, so do you.

Seventh, make an effort to like (or at least co-exist with) the people around you. Even if your co-worker, boss or family member is a bona fide jerk, find something you like about him or her. Exercise the Golden Rule, which asks that we treat others as we want to be treated. Better still, try the Titanium Rule; it says that we should treat others as they want to be treated.

Eighth, communicate without attacking. If someone makes you angry, focus on their actions and discuss your emotions. If you have an issue with someone, speak with them in private rather that casting your grievances publicly. No matter where you are and under what conditions you find yourself in, remember that our words and actions demonstrate our self-worth.

Finally, do what you can to eliminate the political correctness that prevents us from communicating with passion. Instead be honest and express how you feel without attacking an individual.

Brian Norris is owner of Milwaukee's Best Massage. He is also a professional speaker and author of Escape Life Sucks Syndrome (available on Amazon). You can reach Brian by email or by calling 414-899-1905.